I married in 2001, when I was 26. It wasn’t a particularly joyous occasion; I think now that I may have chosen to get married abroad because I didn’t want people to actually witness me making such a monumental mistake. However, it happened and it led to me ticking the ‘married’ section on forms, drop-down sections etc. until 2010, when I decided I couldn’t be seen as part of that couple any more.
In actual fact, I was still married for another 2 years, but completely and utterly considered myself as only-officially-married-on-paper. Now though, I tick the ‘divorced’ box. I know some people who see the fact that they are divorced as being a failure, but I can honestly say I’ve not once regretted the decision to call time on a very controlling and unhappy relationship. Anyway, I digress. My pondering is really about what those different boxes mean to us all. Does our status define us, or do we define others by how they decide to ‘label’ themselves?
Would it make a difference in my foggy little brain if I actually ticked the single box rather than the divorced? Does it make a difference when you’re filling out details for an insurance quote? Or for a bank account? (I think you have to complete that for an account – maybe I’m wrong). What about for a job interview? What difference does it really make? If we’re being technical, I’m divorced and single. I’m not divorced and desperate. I’m not single and slutty. I’m me….sometimes up, sometimes down but regularly going round and round. I’m happy to be divorced; I’m not always happy to be single. But then I think about all of the freedom that I would miss if I were no longer single, and that is enough of a jolt to make me appreciate everything I have.
So. Status. How about ‘currently content with life’?